Teaming up to wash Mom's car for Mother's Day.
Being a mother and being busy are synonymous. Mothers have things they have always wanted to do, things they would enjoy doing when they find the time. Some moms have a “get-round-to-it” list, which may be written down or not. The list usually has some chores or projects, which constantly filter into the lives of moms. But whether the list is called a bucket list or something else, it’s important because it may be a mix of fun and items also related to all-important wellness.
First let’s look at the fun things.
‘Team family’ in Action
With Mother’s Day this month, it is a great time for family members to ask mom what she likes to do. “Team family” needs to be ready. Who knows what she will say? Perhaps it means watching movies all day. Perhaps sitting outside and tasting samples from a favorite bakery. Perhaps it means planting the gardens with flowers, vegetables and herbs. Perhaps it means looking through scrapbooks, talking about childhood and telling stories.
And since we live in Colorado, maybe it is having someone give the family a lift to Vail Pass with bikes so it can enjoy an all-downhill family bike ride to Breckenridge, followed by lunch.
Regardless, the aim is to make it fun for mom. However, as we know moms are always on duty, always wanting to get things done. So maybe she just wants breakfast in bed topped off with the family washing her car. Heck, she just plain loves to have her car washed and save those car wash dollars. And moms love handmade. Show your skills – or at least your love – by making a handmade card.
And of course you can think about what mom enjoys and surprise her. In some families, surprises are expected. Taking some notes throughout the year is really helpful for the most amazing ideas to come together on Mother’s Day. When the family hits the mark, it is richly rewarding all around.
Chores, Chores, Chores
Look to make the most of Mother’s Day, just as mom looks to make the most of everyday. While you may key on completing some chores as a gift, take another step and ask yourself: Is there more that can be done by the rest of the family on the chore chart? What is standing in the way of mom doing some of the things on her get-round-to-it list?
And think of this in terms of time. If mom cooks every night, take a night off her plate, no pun intended. Don’t try to be flashy, just choose some familiar recipes and start chopping. If she has expressed frustration that things keep coming up, and she cannot find time to get to the gym, then give her the choice to add a specific weekly “mom’s day”, in which she leaves a list of chores and departs to have some quality life –balance time.
Drill down and ask these questions: What can I do to help mom achieve the balance she is looking for? What can I do to help her find the time to do things important to her? Does she need space to set up her activities? Does she need time blocked off just for her? Does she need the family to be willing to change habits – dietary or otherwise?
You get the picture. And if you find yourself really revved into the “team family” mode, an excellent book for the whole family is “The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family,” by Patrick Lencioni. The book starts with identifying what makes your family unique. From there, the family focuses on what is important in order to thrive. It is a fun, quick read and suited for all family members with a middle-school reading level.
Remember, It’s Okay To Ask
And for mothers feeling overwhelmed day in and day out, remember it is okay to ask for help. It is okay to ask family members to help more with chores and other tasks. It is okay to ask family members to make tough choices for the good of the family.
For example, if family members do an amazing job keeping abreast of pop culture but the house is messy and the grades could be better, perhaps the screen time needs to be cut. And it is okay to ask colleagues to lighten the load at work now and then. The quest for balance involves the work world and the home front, and it’s important to make sure to urge your workplace to have the correct mindset on work-life balance.
Sometimes a few tips to find happiness can help, such as online links about habits for motherhood happiness or the array of blogs featured on our website. And remember we offer a variety of mental health programs and treatments. So if you are feeling anxiety or in need of our mental health services in any way, contact us online at communityreachcenter.org or by phone at 303-853-3500 Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. to learn more about our services. We have centers in the northside Denver metro area of Adams County including the cities of Thornton, Westminster, Northglenn, Commerce City and Brighton.